


Of The In Betweens

by edel_im



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: F/M, Medical, Police!HoMin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5062822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edel_im/pseuds/edel_im
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn't want to be it until they did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He watched her like he did every day – from afar.  She had just gotten home, having been finished with her duty at the hospital. This week had been lighter, he noted. There were no late-night emergency calls, nor was the first case coinciding with the wee hours of the morning.

Still, he knew she didn’t sleep well.

She’d always insisted on turning off all the lights before sleeping, said she’s comfortable with the darkness in her pad. But there was no darkness surrounding her until it was almost past midnight. Constantly, she padded around, if not for staying in front of the tv watching some show he knew she didn’t even like.

 _Restless_. That was the word to best describe her at night.

And he knew why, because that had been the same reason he came here and watched her – if only to assuage the loneliness inside. He dared not admit it, but damn, he missed her. Too much. Had Yunho, his friend and companion in these late-night camping outs, been here he would have prodded him to get out and up there because clearly no one among them were happy with the current situation. And like all the times, he would have said no. Because that was the only way he could assure she’d forget faster – through deliberate rejection.

His mind refocused when she reappeared, this time beside the window of her room. The lamp light on the bedside table was on, and she was rummaging inside the drawer for something. She had turned to look behind, smiling and talking. The amusement on her face gave him a hint, but it was not until something big and furry jumped on her from the bed that he knew.

He found himself smiling.  ** _Aki._**  It was the dog he gave her two Christmases ago – on the day they met. They were both at a dog pound facility, having been both single and “wanting company without the need for commitment”. It was a shared joke – the first of many, he realized. Aki was that little Labrador puppy they both had chosen, and suffice it to say her puppy dog eyes were convincing enough to let her have little Aki. By the end of their meeting, she had a companion and, in a manner of speaking, he had her.

Two years spanned countless late night talks over endless refills of coffee, cuddling sessions and things-only-you’d-know conversations, a few emotional encounters,  lots of laughter and spur-of-the-moment going outs, innumerable kisses, spontaneous acts, surprises and yes, a galore of mind-blowing-stress-relieving sex.

Two years and everything came and went with them knowing that the next day might not be the same as the one before. Anything could end and so they lived in the moment. They had that unspoken agreement that no one would expect anything. No one asked for anyone to stay, nor clung on for any reason. They met when both were free, unexplainably finding each other somewhere and ending up in one of their places. Best thing to put their situation on – they were consenting adults on a commitment-free relationship. If it  _is_  a relationship you can call it.

Truth be said it amazed him that she was fine with everything. Another smile crept its way on his face. His friends knew about her, and everyone agreed she’s not the type of woman you’d meet every day. She was cool and confident, had principle and voice, gave as much as she was given and damned it all, she was sexy as hell. Especially on early mornings when she was all dishevelled hair, groggy smile and snuggling warmth..

The last thing he needed was a whiny, clingy type of woman. She seemed to know that, or maybe because the last thing she needed was a jealous, demanding man. They worked well together. And they were that for two years. But soon, too much freedom would warrant you to look for something to hold on to – something concrete.. something exclusively yours.

And that had been when the awkwardness started to seep in. Everything went the same as it did, only now they were both unaware that the other was feeling the want to have ‘more’. They both cursed the situation they had moved around in through all this time.  _No commitments_ , those words always resounded on their minds.

The questions of “what if” started to rise. What if it was only me who wanted it? What if bringing up the topic would only damage what we have? We’re okay now, what if it destroys everything? What if this was just an effect of seeing too many couples around? What if this was just a passing inclination?

No one dared answer those questions and so they remained what they were – only a bit different because this time there was these niggling queries. Two weeks ago the frustration bore fruit to their first real fight. He had made her cry when the shouting escalated; although it was evident she tried to swallow down the tears and the trembling in her voice. That time he had the urge to hit himself for shouting and saying a hoard of nonsensical things. There was that overpowering urge to throw pride away and tell her he was sorry, maybe do what those actors on romance movies do and gallantly stride forward, gathering her in an embrace. Yeah, looking back at it, he was sure she would have liked it.

Being an ass, and a man of pride, of course he did the opposite. He stormed out of her pad with the characteristic door-banging-close attitude behind him. And until then he never came back. At least, not on a point that she would see him.

* * *

 

 

The first week he watched her from the car, Yunho was with him. He remembered being called an ass, the worst there ever was, an unfeeling prude, and the most coward man his friend had ever known. His friend blamed him for everything and he accepted it without argument. However, he had to step up when Yunho pointed out he seemed not to care when it was obvious the far-away-watching situation wasn’t working for any of them.

_“I may be a lot of things, hyung. But the last would be that I never cared. You think I like sitting here and watching her like a stranger?”_

His voice was stern, his look unwavering when he said it and so he had been surprised when instead of the expected goading, his friend retaliated with a smile.

_“Then why don’t you go get her? Fuck everything else and just go, man. Don’t fight against time. Who knows, she might actually forget. And we all know that’s not what you want.”_

 

Movement from her pad caught his attention again.   She now stood on the side of the window, talking to someone on the phone, sipping on her mug. Coffee, he presumed. She was smiling, even laughing at what the person on the other line was saying.

The joy in her face made him ache – something only she could make him feel. He found himself feeling that pang of emotion where he yearned to be there and be the one who was making her smile like that. Call it jealousy, he didn’t care. His hands gripped the wheel tight, his mind on a silent fight of domination. Should he go or stay here?

Has she started to forget? That smile told him she was obviously happy. There was no doubt she could go on without him, because she was a different kind of woman. She moved on, objectively. He, however, did not like that idea. He blamed himself for it. Because he wasted time, because he was thinking too much..

His phone vibrated from his pocket and without looking he answered the call will a gruff “Yeah”.

“Let me guess. You’re there again, right?”

 _Yunho hyung._  He should have guessed.

“Where else would I be?”

His harsh tone was answered by a chuckle - something that did nothing to improve his mood.

“Seriously, stop it, man. You’re starting to look like a stalker.”

“What do you want?” He was not having this conversation now. It was NOT helping.

“I want you to realize that it’s just two options for you now, like I’ve always told you – it’s either Go or Stop. That’s that.”

“And if I refuse to do anything?”

Yunho sighed. He did not know if his brother was too sceptical or just plain stupid. Either way, he was making a big mistake.

“You really want me to answer that? Fine. Choose to do nothing. Sooner or later she’d learn to forget. Hell, I bet she already did.”

The words hit him full on. It, unexplainably, paralyzed him with fear. Looking back to her smiling and relaxed form, he wondered.  _Has she really?_

“No.” The denial was more for himself than for her.

“You think?” His friend shrugged from the other line. “We’ll never know.”

In a surge of anger he jerked his seatbelt off, seconds later finding himself roughly closing his car door and braving the cold without so much as a pair of gloves or coat.

“Fuck hyung, you’re not helping.”

Yunho heard the curse, although this time he knew he had to make an exception. If he heard the background blagging of door and huffing right, then something was going somewhere good tonight. He chuckled, finding the fact had cheered him more.

 “I think I am. See you when I see you, maknae.”


	2. Chapter 2

Longest, excruciating seconds of his life – that small time when he stood in front of her door waiting to be answered. From the other side he could hear Aki barking and scratching, apparently having recognized his scent. Moments later it was her voice which he heard, telling the dog to calm down and calling out that she was almost there.

The door’s lock clicked, the latch lifted and then there she was, looking up at him, immediately breaking into a smile even at his frown, amused at the way Aki literally jumped over him.

 

“Hi,” she greeted, opening the door wider. “Come in.”

He followed inside with a bit of difficulty, since the Labrador seemed too engrossed in bestowing him lots of sloppy welcome back kisses. Smiling at the enthusiasm of the animal, he gave him an affectionate rub before turning to the door and securing it.

She stood by the couch, watching all these, trying but failing to discard the idea that this scene could have applied to a more realistic situation. Only the thing unfitting was where she was standing now. She should have been right beside him, welcoming him with a thorough i-missed-you-welcome-home kiss..

Mentally she shook her head. It was not going to happen. At least she won’t entertain the idea of it lest it bring on another bout of fight. Two weeks had passed. And she was not ruining their meeting by living in her imaginary thought.

At that time, he turned, seeing that she was watching. So he chose to stand there by the door and watch back. He wanted to talk but was clueless what to say first. Does he comment that she’s wearing his shirt? Should he tell her she looked adorable with the bunny slippers on her feet? Maybe he could start with asking why she was still awake? Nah, that would be silly. Then.. what?

 “It could have been a burglar or a kidnapper. Why do you open the door that easily?”

She had to allow the smile on her face. Expecting something apparently sweet from him, she should have known better. He had always disliked saying personal, revealing things. Even as subtle as asking how she had been. Maybe that was why they clicked so much. They liked the same things, mostly had the same views, both being afraid to commit.

“But it was not.”

“Giana..”

His tone had a don’t-think-of-this-as-funny warning on it. She sighed, throwing her hands as she rolled her eyes and approached him.

“Fine.” She gestured to the door, stopping a few feet away. “Would you like to go back behind the door and re-enact the scene with me being all cautious and secure-acting like you wanted?”

He gave her a look, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips as he acknowledged the amusement. Of all the things to say, he chose to demand on her welcoming ways. Give it to him to ruin things.

Shaking his head, he stepped forward and lightly flicked her forehead.

“You pabo.” He was smiling when he said it and so she did not mind, smiling back as she instinctively rubbed the spot he had touched.

“Coffee?”

His nod was all she needed to start for the kitchen, retrieving his favourite mug and pouring him his share. Turning back, she handed it over across the marble countertop separating them. She leaned on the sink as he sipped, watching the way he winced at the heat.

“No work today?” She asked.

“Ne,” he nodded, taking another sip of the brew he had not tasted for quite a while. “The partners had decided to take a bit of a break.”

Her response was a brief nod. Crossing her legs, she looked back at him and smiled sheepishly.

“I didn’t know you’ll be coming over tonight so I wore your shirt.” She fingered the material, focusing on something more tangible than his un-telling gaze.

Her sudden shyness amused him because she had only been that in a few instances. Damn, but she looked cute. He didn’t know how to answer her so he just threw in the compliment, earning him a raised eyebrow and a similarly amused smile.

“Cute? When did I become that?” She chuckled lightly.

“Since you started wearing my shirt and bunny slippers at the same time.”

She looked down at her feet and laughed, curling her toes inside those warm slippers. Turning her gaze back at him, she lifted herself to the sink and swung her feet like a kid would. For a length of time, they basked in the lack of communication, aware of the occasional barks Aki was making against the raucous laughing from the television.

He finished his mug, clearing his throat as he walked towards the sink, about to wash it when she reached out to stop him.

“Leave it there. I can do that tomorrow.”

“But..”

His protest was silenced when she pried the mug from him and set it on the sink, touching his chest, looking at the part she touched. There was so much she wanted to say but everything boiled down to looking too caring – something she knew he did not want. So she resorted to a casual smile when she looked back up to meet his gaze.

“You’re tired, Min.”

Her touch, her scent.. It overwhelmed him that for a while he did not get what she was saying.  _Tired_ , ah yes, he was. He was about to answer when it hit him – that look in her eyes. She was speaking on multiple meanings. Aware she was or not, he knew there was a hint of pointing out more than just the physical tiredness.

It pained him that they had to reach this kind of situation – where they denied too much and risked missing a lot of things just because they were too afraid to scare the other or push them away. He sighed, reaching up to brush his knuckles over her cheek.

“I’m sorry, Gi.”

She seemed to misunderstand, because he swore he saw a flicker of pain cross her expression before pursing her lips and nodding.

“Yeah, me too.”

Gahd, did they mess up big time.

Changmin leaned close, cupping the side of her face a second before he claimed her lips, roving his mouth against the softness of her flesh, savouring the taste that was intoxicatingly her. Two unbelievable weeks he had deprived himself of this. He enjoyed the moment as much as she did, her hungered response spurring him on.

He only stopped when he realized he had been contemplating on taking her right now by the sink or lifting her to the countertop. Bracing himself, he placed his fingers over her chin, pulling away to create enough space to breathe against her lips, keeping his other hand to where it had travelled under the big shirt.

“Ask me to stay, Gi.”

She was in the same state as he was – distracted. Her hands roamed on his chest, resting on his shoulders as she closed her eyes and took a steadying breath, forehead rested against his. It took time for her to register what he had said.

“What?” She was obviously still composing herself.

Changmin pecked her lips, looking into her eyes when he pulled away again.

“You’re right. I’m tired. I don’t want this..” His hand came up for a random sweeping motion. “I want something more. With you.” He knew the moment her eyes glazed over that she got what he was saying. “I’m not the perfect guy, Gi. From the first you knew I’m not that typical fairytale person.” He sighed. “We tried so hard to make ourselves believe we can go on with this and damn it, I should have known better..”

She reached up, caressing his cheek, smiling when he leaned on it and closed his eyes. When he focused back at her, his expression was serious.

“Let’s stop running away, Gi. We’ve done too much of that and we know it’s not working.” He took her hand and lovingly kissed her palm, eyes never leaving hers.

“Ask me to stay.”

She knew the gravity of his words. If she accepted then there will be no turning back. And frankly, she couldn’t imagine anything else happening. In the same manner as him, Giana wanted it too.

It was too long in coming. And now it’s here.

She cupped his face, kissed him once and repeated the act just to assure herself it was really happening.

“You’re mine, Shim Changmin.” She whispered.

“Exclusively yours.”

For a while they just stared at each other, taking in the setting in which they had called upon themselves. There were no regrets. It was just a silent happiness.

She spoke first moments later.

“Took you long enough. Two weeks of sitting outside my flat and waiting until I fall asleep? I’d have to give you points for that.”

Somewhere between her words, his expression changed from smiling to shocked. She knew all along?!

“H-how.. Hyung told you?”

Giana shook her head, chuckling.

“I saw you. A few days after Yunho oppa confirmed it. All this time we went out of the other’s way.”

“Why.. didn’t you call me?”

She gave him an expression that said ‘ _Seriously?!_ ’, laughing as she stroked his cheeks.

“You’re not entirely the coaxing type, Minnie.” Giana scrunched her nose. “Besides, I could say I enjoyed the torture it had on you. Your brothers felt the same.”

He narrowed his eyes, growling low in his throat.

“Why you..” he stopped, pouting like a kid when she lightly flicked his forehead. “Ya..”

“Serves you right.” She smiled. “Serves both of us right.” Teasingly, she grabbed his collar and pulled at his with a threatening look. “Next time you do that I’m going to kill you, arasso?”

He nodded, looking unconvincingly timid – something he never was. Suspicion crawled onto her and she narrowed her eyes.

“Whaaat?” He blinked.

“I’m waiting for the epic line .”

“I don’t say epic lines!” he frowned.

“okay. Let’s re-title them into ‘Minnie originals’.”

“Shut up.”

She laughed, to his surprise.

“Now that’s more like it!”

Changmin was halfway through protesting when she leaned down and kissed him hotly, tilting her head and half-surprising, half-killing him with the bold action. The only reaction he could have was hold onto her waist and kiss back, sounding his disappointment when she broke contact.

Giana watched his expression, breathing raggedly and reflecting his expression. She knew her eyes had the same look of wanting as his – something she was always satisfied to know. Slowly, she smiled contentedly, tracing a finger over his cheek. Looking into his eyes, she spoke.

“Stay with me, Shim Changmin.”

He did not know he had been holding his breath until her words prompted him to release it. His cheeks hurt from smiling too wide. Those were very few words. Yet the very ones he needed to hear. They were enough.

He started to nod, finding not even “yes” or “I will” a proper answer to such a meaningful statement. Instead, he let his eyes speak and express the sincerity in action. He leaned close, sealing the distance with a kiss on her forehead, brushing his lips over her skin as he nodded.

Her eyes closed, lips curled up to a smile. She understood him.

In both their hearts they clung to the fact. That now, it won’t be without commitments. Tonight they started a something that they both knew they could believe was true. The feeling was one that made you giddy, grateful, understanding and more.. free. It was unexplainable in a way, but the invisible chains that they had expected to bind them never appeared.

They would have never known had they not taken that step forward.

 

It was their beautiful liberation.


End file.
